Michael Carty
You are line manager.
You have a problem.
One of your direct reports smells.
Who you gonna call?
All too often, it would seem that HR would be the first (and quite possibly only) port of call for the line manager in such situations.
Indeed, Canadian HR blogger Jane Watson suggests that this scenario happens to HR professionals with such frequency that it might be appropriate to consider it a rite of passage for HR.
This got me thinking that it might be interesting to compile a checklist/ scorecard/ bingo game, detailing a broad range of HR rites of passage.
What are HR’s rites of passage? Compiling the ultimate HR checklist
I need your help to do this. I’d love to get your answers to any and all of the following questions:
- What are HR’s rites of passage?
- What situations do you think will inevitably befall anyone and everyone that takes on a career in HR?
- What are the most frequently asked questions posed by line managers to HR?
- Have there been any situations in your own HR career that seemed almost too strange, silly or surreal to believe, until you realised that you weren’t the only one they’d happened to?
To give you some idea of what this list might involve, here’s a link to a great post from 2012 by Gemma Reucroft, detailing her “top 10 line manager crimes against their HR team”: Crimes Against Your HR Department.
What would you add to the list?
Please do get in touch and share your suggestions – either by leaving a comment (below), or via Twitter, Google+ or LinkedIn.
I’d love to hear from you.
HR’s rites of passage: The Storify story
Here is a Storify story, detailing how this post came to be. It all started with a line in a blog post from Jane Watson, and developed via a great Twitter conversation with Jane and Gemma Reucroft.
UPDATE 1 (Tuesday 22 January 2013): Evil HR Lady spreads the #hrriteofpassage word!
@RealEvilHRLady (aka Suzanne Lucas) has very kindly published a post to help spread the word about HR’s rites of passage. You can read it here: HR Rites of Passage.
I’m also delighted to report that the #hrriteofpassage hashtag is generating no end of excellent examples of real-life HR people’s examples of real-life HR rites of passage!
Click on the #hrriteofpassage hashtag to see more, or view the highlights in my Storify story: ‘HR? My employee smells’: HR’s rites of passage.
UPDATE 2 (Wednesday 23 January 2013): When HR falls victim to the “blame game” (via NoExcusesHR)
Sarah Miller (aka @whippasnappahr) points out via Twitter that the latest post from Jay Kuhns (aka @jrkuhns) resonates with the #hrriteofpassage theme.
Jay’s post is entitled Shut Up, I’m Not Being Defensive, and I would urge everyone reading this to head over to Jay’s always-excellent NoExcusesHR blog to read it in full.
Here’s a relevant extract of what Jay has to say on situations in which HR finds itself at the receiving end of the “blame game”:
One of the core competences of the HR team is to recruit viable candidates for the organization. It’s an exciting part of the job, and with the crush of so many social channels available, it can be an incredibly creative part as well.
Except when recruitment isn’t going so well…then we suck. Or at least we’re sometimes made to feel that way, even when we know we’re putting all our efforts into the search process. We often need a hiring manager who understands the dynamics of an odd labor market and can actually make a hiring decision. It’s really nice when that happens.
So in that moment when you’re receiving “feedback” (read here -> HR is being told how ineffective they’ve been and all you need to do is listen to the completely inexperienced non-HR leaders and all will be right with the world) how do you react?
Are you angry? Is frustration creeping in? Are you laughing when you hear the most ridiculous suggestions and you realize they are serious?
UPDATE 3 (Wednesday 23 January 2013): Is ‘the husband call’ the rarest #hrriteofpassage?
Here’s a very interesting discussion, which brings to light what would appear to be a very rare #hrriteofpassage, namely: “The husband call.”
Has anyone out there ever been the recipient of a “husband call”?
This particular #hrriteofpassage came up via a Twitter discussion between @jsarahwatshr and @realevilhrlady:
@jsarahwatshr: “The first time that a family member of someone who was just fired calls you to share their feelings”
@realevilhrlady: Have you ever had a husband call? I’ve gotten a ton of these calls, but always from the wife.
@jsarahwatshr: Very interesting…no, I’ve never heard from a husband; just wife & mother
So how about you: Have you ever received “the husband call” during your HR career?
UPDATE 4 (Friday 25 January 2013): Snakes In A Hospital? Just another #hrriteofpassage
I’ve been quite amazed by the sheer diversity of HR rites of passage that have been mentioned by readers of this post over the past few days (see my Storify story for full details of all the #hrriteofpassage tweets). But even more amazing has been the fact that no matter how unusual the #hrriteofpassage, it seems that more than one HR person will have experienced it.
However, top US HR blogger Jay Kuhns may well have come up with a truly unique rite of passage for HR: Dealing with a snake that got loose in a hospital! Jay mentions this event in his comment below.
Responding to my Twittter request for further detail of this remarkable-sounding tale, Jay kindly shared a link to a 2011 post from his NoExcusesHR blog: Logic and Snakes Never Work.
I really like Jay’s point in this post that a common characteristic of many of the rites of passage faced by a typical HR person during their career is an apparent absence of logic. Jay says:
The one thing that seems to be missing in almost every conflict that comes up though is logic. If a rational person were to take a moment and consider the choice they were about to make, I’m guessing logic would dictate that bringing a snake to a hospital is probably a bad idea. But that’s just me.
Jay’s advice? “Don’t get tainted”:
A core strength of Human Resources professionals is that despite the turbulence we all manage, we are able to see so many good things happen in our organizations every day. It is our job to not only support the various parts of the organization when employee relations issues boil over; but we must seek out the good work too. The overwhelming number of encounters our employees have with our customers are terrific. I need to make sure I learn more about those so I can recognize their hard work.
I’m also very pleased to report that @HR_Gem has written a great new post, highlighting further examples of the #hrriteofpassage in all its glory: You haven’t worked in HR until……...
UPDATE 5 (Monday 28 January 2013): The #hrriteofpassage gene mutates…
I’m very proud and pleased to see the #hrriteofpassage gene spreading and mutating. Top UK blogger Neil Usher has adapted the “rites of passage” approach to focus on workplace rites of passage in the latest post on his Global Institute of Nowhere blog. This is a very enjoyable post indeed – please do give it a read!
UPDATE 6 (Wednesday 6 February 2013): ‘Dealing with tearful employees is a regular occurrence,” says @HRManNZ
New Zealand-based HR blogger Richard Westney (aka @HRManNZ on Twitter) has just published an excellent post in which he expands on his earlier Twitter contributions to the #hrriteofpassage debate. The post is entitled How to make a grown man cry and other valuable HR lessons. Richard generously shares a number of key learning points from his own career, along with an overview of the lessons learned from each. I imagine quite a lot of you out there will be nodding your heads in recognition at what Richard has to say.
At my first full time HR generalist job, I was called out to one of our plants to talk to an employee. I had only been on the job for two weeks.
When I arrived, the Plant Manager and his supervisors were huddled around a table giggling. I didn’t know why and asked. They said, “You need to go talk to Tom.” “Where is he?” I asked. “He’s in the bathroom upstairs on the catwalk.”
This isn’t what I wanted to hear because I had no idea what I was walking into. I trudged up the steps to the Men’s Restroom and cautiously opened the door. In front of me stood Tom – naked. To say I was unprepared for this is an understatement. They don’t teach this to you in school.
I introduced myself as the HR Guy (without shaking hands mind you) and asked what was wrong. Tom yelled, “I hate these clothes !!” Again, unprepared. I was facing a young man who may be struggling with much bigger issues than his clothing. This was long before Employee Assistance Programs or the ability to have employees seek counseling.
Stuck and unsure what to do, I told Tom that being naked was a safety violation because we worked in a very industrial environment with power tools and equipment. I explained that he needed to be dressed in order to work for us. He said he couldn’t do that, so unfortunately I had to fire him. He said he understood. It was difficult honestly to see this young man who was evidently struggling with other issues, but I needed to resolve this for him and the Company.
I heard the supervisors howling below because they knew that Tom was naked before they sent me to see him. I asked Tom to get dressed so that he wouldn’t be embarrassed and then calmly walked him out of the plant.
I didn’t let the lack of action by the supervisors pass by. I came back and really let them have it and chided them for how they treated Tom, me and evidently the employees that worked for us. I told them that something like this would never happen again, and that if they treated others in this crass manner, then I would be addressing them next time !!
Difficult situation but I really “grew up” as an HR person that day. It truly was my rite of passage !!
You become a true HR professional when you are forced to layoff your co-workers/friends outside of the HR department. You know about it weeks in advance (the layoff, plant closure, department elimination), obviously you cannot breathe a word and you live with that knowledge until the day of the layoff. You find courage in knowing you have to do your job professionally with compassion and heart. In the end, you know your co-workers/friends will survive the job loss and that you have done the job you were called to do. You finally become a grown up HR professional.
First of all- thanks Michael for starting such a great discussion- really fun! Wow Steve- that is a crazy story- I won’t lie, that situation may have caused me to go into another profession (maybe welding, right Michael?). Susan makes a really good point- this is something that all HR professionals will inevitably go through. It’s unsettling, and makes visible the distance that exists between HR pros and their colleagues.
I think Gemma’s post captures the biggies really, really well. Of course, I think that what’s ‘typical’ is going to depend on the type of environment that you work in. Like Steve, I worked for a time at an industrial plant (full cycle food processing- from farms to slaughter to food). While there, I worked on WSIB claims (disability claims resulting from lost time accidents). I met with any workers who had incurred an injury to obtain details about the event, and to many of them this seemed to imply that I was in some way a medical professional- so despite my protests, they would remove clothing and/or bandages to give me a close-up look at their injury. This included things like pig bites, knife cuts, all manner of bruises and scrapes, and even (in one case) a finger amputation. Totally horrifying…
I came into HR mid-2011, so I am still fairly new. But within the first 6 months, I had to terminate 8 employees, deal with 3 unemployment claims (2 which went to hearing), and one EEOC claim. I call it baptism by fire.
After 8 years in HR working in retail, financial services and accounting, I have experienced many HR rites of passage that I do not recall receiving any formal education or training in. These rites of passage remind me how important it is for HR professionals to have a demeanor that is calm, settling, empathetic and also direct. Converations about clothing, body odor, restroom incidents, nervous habits and personality traits are never easy. While these conversations do not always go over well with the recipient, I have experienced gratitude with addressing these issues privately, respectfully and in a manner that continues to make the person feel human. I too have experienced a bathroom situation, yet it resulted in the employee not returning to work because of embarrassment. It is a necessity to communciate to managers their role in situations like this and how their treatment of others will not be tolerated. How would they feel if they were on the receiving end?
Great idea Michael, and thanks for the mention. Gemma’s post is great, as are the comments above. Here are a few of my examples:
- body odor is always an HR issue to solve!
- employee brought their large pet snake to the hospital and it got loose
- long list of affiars that have to be addressed
- problem employee with terrific performance reviews that HR has to “fire immediately”
- big talking Managers that quiver and shake once they are testifying under oath (these are the ones that ultimately appreciate HR for all eternity!)
Cheers!
Jay
Thank you for this remarkable selection of comments, one and all!
Over the past few days, it’s been amazing to see both the diversity of responses to what might be considered an #hrriteofpassage, and also the sheer number of shared experiences that would appear to be common to the profession – no matter how esoteric they might initially sound to the outsider!
@Steve: Thank you for sharing this remarkable tale! Sounds like a real trial by HR fire there. I think you gave the best possible response to severely trying circumstances there. And particularly well done for giving the supervisors a piece of your mind afterwards.
@Susan: That sounds a truly sobering example of what it takes to become “a grown-up HR professional” – and one that I’m sure a great number of people reading your comment will identify with.
@Jane: Wonderful comment, and thank you for reviving the #HRtoWelding debate from over Christmas! For those of you who weren’t part of #HRtoWelding, this was an arguably quite light-hearted Twitter discussion that centred on whether HR professionals should consider retraining as welders in 2013. As Jane (I believe it was) pointed out at the time, you do get a very cool mask…
Great point, Jane, about “the distance that exists between HR pros and their colleagues.” I wonder what we can do to bridge this gap?
Thank you also, Jane, for providing the impetus for this post in the first place! The world would be a poorer place without your amazing blog! And I do hope that dealing with pig bites and/or finger losses are not a common #hrriteofpasssage…
@Mary: Goodness me, sounds like you were thrown right in at the deep end! Sounds like you made it through this HR “baptism by fire” with aplomb, though! Are you glad you chose HR?
@Kelly: Love your point that HR must develop and exhibit “a demeanor that is calm, settling, empathetic and also direct” – even if it is not necessarily something that you have received training in. Great point, also that managers should consider how they would feel if the situations were reversed. Excellent comment, Kelly! : )
@Jay: Snakes In A Hospital? I think there could be an #hrmovie in this one! Please do share what happened next… I sincerely hope that nobody (whether human or snake) came to any harm!